First week without hubby

So well, Rachael is 11 days old! It's Wednesday today. The first week that hubby went back to work. Both of us are not able to accustom to this lack of sleep. 

Anyway, I think I'm coping ok without hubby's help. I have been up changing diapers and feeding Rachael all by myself these three days. I think I'm able to do it. As they are both sleeping soundly now, I'm working hard to keep the milk supply flowing by pumping. 

In the day, I'm glad my mum is able to look after her and takes care of her poop and all. I get to sleep more and indulge in that 2-3h of undisturbed sleep. 

I was quite emotional yesterday as Rachael refused to latch on. Cried in front of mum (paiseh much)... Surprisingly in the evening, she latched on again. Talk about emotional roller coaster eh!

Anyway, I realised there are many point of views from people. I'm weighing the info that I'm receiving. Those who are successful in total breastfeeding insisted that it can be done through perseverance and advised me not to bottle feed or give her formula. Those who are not, obviously encouraged me that it is fine to bottle feed and even give formula milk to supplement. 

I'm trying to balance the two and minimize the formula feeding. I can't stop bottle feeding though since Rachael is already used to it. So for now, it's expressing milk for bottle feeding and latching on. Hope to reduce formula to only once daily. 

My only motivation... is my precious Rachael. Seeing her falling asleep after breastfeeding is satisfying enough. I wish to see that MANY TIMES EACH DAY. Not just one successful trial. 

Dear Father, 

You know the desire of my heart is to be able to give Rachael the best, just like how You want to give us the best. I pray that You will help Rachael to learn how to suckle properly and help me to learn the best and most comfortable way to breastfeed her. I pray that we will be off formula, increase latching on and minimize bottle feeding. I pray for good supply of milk. I pray for Rachael to be in good health! Although I know hubby and mum meant well to suggest formula and bottle feeding so that I can have a good rest, I pray that they will be even more supportive to encourage me to latch on and not allow me to choose the easy way out. I pray that I will be able to handle breastfeeding alone even when they are not around. Your grace is sufficient for me. May I draw strength from You, Lord. In Jesus' most precious name I pray, Amen!